If you want a belly laugh and a breath of fresh air, read John Cochrane’s oped on the treasury secretary in today’s Wall Street Journal.

Speaking of news, a common headline in web news strings for clients is: “Preparing for (fillintheblank’s) Earnings Announcement with an Option Straddle.”

Seen that? Traders wait for companies to say when they’ll report results. They prefer if you do it a few weeks ahead so they can get cheap puts and calls. Just days between your announcement and earnings, and options may be in high demand and limited supply. It’s a lesson, IR professionals, about modern markets. Continue reading →

We hope none of you are marooned in Europe by volcanic ash. If you are, we’ll try to keep your minds off the extra money you’re spending with the shocking suggestion that markets writhed last week not for Goldman Sachs but for expirations.

The SEC last week sued Goldman Sachs for misleading investors about certain collateralized debt obligations during the subprime mortgage meltdown. Continue reading →

This formidable IRO says to me, “Quast, here’s the deal. You say rational, fundamental investment is a tiny fraction of trading now and we’re all bond servants to traders and risk managers who’re disconnected from traditional IR. If that’s the case, IR as we know it is dead.”

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You’re at your desk doing a last copy edit on the shareholder letter for the annual report. You glance at your daily trading, as IR folks do. You frown. You drink tepid Starbucks from yesterday and wince. For the third straight day your stock is marching up on light volume.

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The derivative we need is a weather swap. The Winter Olympics would pay a premium for that spare snow lying around unused on the east coast.

Speaking of derivatives, the dollar retreated today, and US equities rebounded. We all want it to be about investing. Commentary everywhere today polished bullishness to an economic sheen. But that won’t make it reflect reality. Money keeps buying short-term love because the direction of the dollar is like a blacksmith’s bellows on equities. Continue reading →